Mindblowing Confessions of an inconsistent yet blissful soul

What are you more Committed to? Letting Go or Pulling yourself down?

Does it often bother you, that you are unable to follow through with certain activities and unable to see them through their end?

For example: enrolling into a hobby class & losing interest later like learning how to play any musical instrument, learning any new form of dance, learning how to create stuff using craft skills or joining the gym to lose weight?

So every time you are excited and rolling, you join one of these classes just to demotivate yourself after some time, as you’re unable to stick through them till they have reached their logical end.

All of this is very synonymous to ME!! Any new activity & I get excited & get myself to gear up for it, but with time it pulls me down as it starts to magnify for me, my inconsistent side.

So yesterday, I compelled myself to sit through one of my classes. To give you a background of these classes, they are a part of my Coaching Course which I got enrolled into in March 2011. On completing this course, I get certified as a Professional Coach. It is a very flexible course, giving me freedom to take as many as 3 years or even more to complete it. So coming back, I attended one of the classes titled- Commitment Vs. Trying!!

My instructor Bill, took us through quite a few examples of why some people get off track, are unable to get themselves do certain things.

The real question to be asked as Coaches is not “Why are you unable to see these activities through their end?” but it is

“What are you more committed to?”

I sat through the class, listening attentively to all the examples. Some fellow students also spoke of their experiences when it dawned on them, what was stopping them & the real reason behind what appeared as an inconsistent effort. I was present to this class, gave it a thought & slept as soon as it got over as it was quite late in the night.

Just this morning, I was enjoying the view outside- It was raining & the greenery outside my windows made me feel grateful that , here I am, living my life beautifully, enjoying the view of the rain and the green.

Suddenly, I started giving a thought to what is stopping me & making me feel guilty that Im lazy and inconsistent.

I immediately scribbled in my diary my answers to “What am I more Committed to?” & now am posting it here.

These are the confessions of an inconsistent yet blissful ME!!

– Some goals just fail to motivate me enough.

– Regarding goals that deeply motivate me , I am able to get through them easily, putting my mind and soul into them. (Read all the beautiful vacations I have had with my Husband and my family)

-What I really enjoy doing is spending beautiful weekends at home or otherwise with my entire family

– Love to try out any new stuff, but hate to make it a routine. My spontaneity & creativity make me try out any new recipes or anything new but if I have to do it on a regular basis, I’ll hate it.

-I have always dreamed of interacting with students, supporting them to find out for themselves what & how their life should be, what kind of career is most suitable for them, what are they deeply passionate about. It just motivates me day in and day out

-Supporting all the people I know in making the right kind of investments, not for getting richer but for securing themselves and for the sake of the family they love. I find it really demotivating to put my self completely into it from a business angle.

-Writing, exploring my expressive side, exploring my imagination and creativity, my written skills

-Surprising all the people I love, knowing that they are not really fond of or expecting surprises

-Being there whenever my family needs me, and supporting my sweet sis in law in becoming more and more independent. Addu- If you’re reading this, dont get mad at me (I know you wont..lul). I already know you’re super independent & I always love that & am SUPER PROUD of you 🙂

– Not allowing any of my work commitments like my course, my insurance activities,my Coaching career to hamper my personal commitments & my time spent with my family

– Not setting up full-time coaching practice that makes me super busy rather explore more and more opportunities of interacting with students who need support.

-Being available for my parents (who are few hours away) any time they need me

-Never freezing my options, always being open to world of possibilities that may spring up in my life, not having any fixed routine for my life (I’m aware & I love the fact that I may need routine when I become a mother & I know the routine will exist only till children get old enough to take care of themselves)

I love this moment, as today what I hold more close to my heart has dawned on me.

It’s perfectly alright if I’m unable to complete a lot of activities. All these things have no place in my commitment list & hence I get off track. But the most fuzzy side effect of all of this is

I AM ENJOYING MY LIFE as it comes.

I am able to commit myself to the needs of my family, only cuz my Course is flexible else I would have had a tough time.

I am able to enjoy vacations with my hubby whenever he gets leave, cuz I have quit my full-time job to pursue something I love to do with the overextended support of my beautiful family.

I am able to stop myself from giving me away to any kind of business, cuz money does not motivate me but the way I spend my time does.

Thanks Bill for that wonderful session on Commitment Vs. Trying. Now I know what you meant when you said that it feels like taking a very heavy load off your shoulders, & it really feels very light. Tons of thanks 🙂

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