She couldn’t stop sobbing even after ten mins of failed attempts. Tears trickled down her cheeks continuously even as she was hiding her face in her palms. She couldn’t stop herself, even after trying hard.
Years and years of hatred, kind of suddenly melted in that single moment, when she was asked the question : ‘Do you choose to forgive him?’
She felt like shouting out loud, ‘But does he deserve to be forgiven? Why should I forgive?’
But all that took place was her inner storm. The flow of tears, was unstoppable.
She felt angry, cheated upon, unworthy yet strong and firm – at-least with her choice..
‘Do you choose to forgive him? Its been 10 years since he has left this world. Forgive him, Leela’
Leela was still..very quiet. 10 years seemed to have had no effect on her response. She still hated him and held him responsible. She still held him guilty. He was a prisoner, in her heart, having no space for any freedom. He was locked there, in her prison of deep hatred. He din’t have any chance of being released…
‘Leela- having this anger for a dead person! How is it making you feel? Are you happy?’
‘I’m not happy Guruji! I feel sad that I was born to such an inhuman being. Which father will ever sell his daughter????? He sold me as if I was a commodity. Why did he even bring me into the world, if he intended to behave so lowly. And why does he need to be forgiven? I’m glad he’s not alive any more.’
‘Are you sure he isn’t alive? in your heart he is still alive, Leela. Release him. He deserves to be released. You deserve to be released.’
‘I cannot ever forgive him Guruji!! He was wrong. He was very wrong!!’
‘Leela, forgiveness is never about right or wrong!! It is about releasing him, by holding him in love. By not judging his actions. By allowing him to be free. By allowing yourself to be free.