Starting off from where i stopped few days back, this post is about the first dichotomy or pair of preference in the MBTI!! For your info,this post is the 2nd of the 5 posts series..the very first post titled as ‘Knowing our Measurements’ using a beautiful tool – The MBTI‘
Just this morning, we had a visitor at home! This visitor had come to hand over something to my grandmom. This very friendly lady, though slightly aged, was bubbling with a lot of energy. She spoke about so many aspects of her life, starting from where she lived, who all were staying with her, the time of the day when she is free, the kind of TV shows she watches, the TV shows her family watches…. and so much more…
Now most of you will wonder, why did we inquire about so many aspects of her life..and the interesting part is that.. all this information came to us without even being asked for.
This aunt who visited me, is a perfect example of an Extravert!!
I’m sure all of you think that Extraverts are people who always like to chat, talk, blabber, jibber jabber and stuff like that. But thats not always the case. Then how exactly can we identify Extraverts.. lets take a look..
This dichotomy: Extraversion Vs. Introversion deals with the flow of energy in individuals.
Extraverts- draw energy from action.. action could be talking, reading, writing and stuff like that. So now we know why that aunt who visited me, went on giving us so much information… She was actually drawing energy out of her action of talking..
Now, Introverts deal exactly in an opposite manner.
Introverts – draw energy from their internal thoughts. They like to reflect, introspect, and when they do so, its an energy building activity for them.
Now, we know how exactly the two types Extraverts & Introverts build up on their energy.. Lets take a look at how they spend their energy…
Extraverts – follow a cycle of Act- Think- Act.. Not very clear.. an example to clarify..
After about a year of joining my first job, i received a call from one of my juniors at college. He was confused and so he had called me. He was selected by few companies during the placement season of our college, and he was not sure about which was an ideal pick for him. i was quite self- impressed about the fact, that he called me (May be my advice would have really mattered to him) but that was not the case.. 🙂
When i started telling him about how i made my choice, he interrupted me.. and then he started to tell me about all the companies that he got selected for..then he started telling me the pros and cons of each of the company… then he told me, why one of them was the right pick, and then happily concluded his talk by telling me about his choice..
Now, i wondered and am sure, you too are wondering, if he knew everything, why did he have to talk to me in the very first place?? I’l tel you why..
Being an extravert, this junior of mine, draws his energy thru action, in this case talking.. After he talks, when he actually listens to himself talking, he thinks… then after thinking he talks again.. so he follows a cycle of ACT- THINK- ACT
which means he draws energy from action & spends his energy in his thoughts & then draws energy again thru his action.He does all the thinking only and only thru his action, in this case thru his talking.
So now am sure, you all would have realised, why i blog so much!! Yessss!! Cuz i draw my energy thru my write, and then when i read it, is actually when i process the info, and that motivates me to write more..
Conversely, Introverts follow a cycle of THINK- ACT -THINK..
which means they draw their energy thru their time spent alone,time spent in processing their thoughts & they spend their energy through action & then rebuild their energy in silence..
So Action energises the E type & Reflection energises the I type.
If an extravert, gets too lazy or lethargic (read out of action) he tends to get demotivated. He has to keep himself in ACTION. So to build on his energy, he gets into some action. You may have noticed, that Extraverts like to write their milestones, or discuss their goals. Why? you think they write it simply so that they can keep looking at it? May be? ..may also be, that every time they write them, they kinda revise their goals thru their action. In spite of having discussed their goals once with their peers, they dont mind rediscussing the same!! Why? cuz they revise them thru their action!!
Conversely, if an introvert, has too many things to do during hectic times, he gets off track. He needs to build up his energy by relaxing, spending time alone, or may be sometimes just hitting the sack. In reflection, he actually builds up his energy.
To an I type – the active E type may appear as too noisy, too bubbly, too much talking etc
To an E type – the reflective I type may appear as too laidback, too relaxed, lazy etc
So knowing people around us, can help us to understand them better..What has this got to do with managing conflicts? I know this is sumthing which is coming up in your minds..
Lets assume, there’s a couple, married for few months!! The wife is an introvert & the husband is an extravert!!
Imagine, the guy loves to chat with his wife all the time, and expects her to support him in his decision making. Every now and then, he calls her (from work) and discusses about the issues at work, or some matter thats bothering him. When he chats with her, his thoughts start becoming clear & this helps him arrive at some decision. He enjoys this process.
Lets be in the wife’s shoes now!! She is an introvert and loves to spend her time processing her thoughts in silence, being alone! To her, the husband can appear very intruding, someone who does’nt respect her requirement of being by herself. She may then, slowly start interrupting him when he talks. She may voice her requirement, of needing some time alone.
Now, be in the shoes of the husband!! The wife’s requirement of being left alone, may be viewed as some kind of dislike she has for the husband. The husband may think that his wife doesnt like him so much, may be thats why she wants to be alone. For him, the wife appears to be reserved, not so open, and this may be viewed in extreme cases as being secretive..
What will eventually happen? there is surely a conflict peeping its way up..
Now, imagine the couple is very much aware about their types..
The husband, will respect the wife’s need of spending some time alone, and give her some time off in a day, when she gets to energise herself in silence, by processing her thoughts.. In turn, the wife now knows that she can support her husband by being a listener, spending more time engaging herself in conversations with him. A simple step of knowing ourselves better & attempting to know the other person, can go a long way in creating strong relationships!!
So friends, are you able to gauge your type? Whether E (extraversion) or I (introversion)? Hope this post has been helpful & interesting.. Like i said previosly, please treat this post as an interesting read rather than a place, to seek information..
More about the other 3 dichotomies in the following posts.. till then chao and cheers!!