Baarish : An outpour 


The steeper the climb,
More exciting gets the finish line..

Endless attempts to roughen the challenges
All for a ‘frivolous’ thrill 

Easy to make ‘tough’ 
A way of life

and pretend we are someone else
cuz who we really are, is too simple

Sometimes all we need 
is an easy catch 

Our flawed beings 
can simply be

patchy and honest,
blunt and blotchy

cuz gravity doesnt judge
the outpour drenches all alike

all the masks finally
washed away

getting what we truly want
can never be this ‘steep climb’

cuz what we deeply desire
is outpouring with misconstrued ease

Win or win?

It’s such a simple choice really!

You either WIN or you WIN! There’s nothing else happening.

It’s like a 120% success rate at life. Always winning!!!!

You either see it or you don’t!

What do you see? 

See the win, and you call for more WIN! See it as a fail and you call for more failure..

Choice is all yours, a simple choice, the only one that really matters

Of competition and perfection !!!!

As children though no one may have intentionally done so, we have come across comparisons..

People say it as an observation but the feeling of competition gets created.. No one ever tells us how perfect each one of us is ..

And why will anyone tell us? No one ever told them.. Each person has only been taught and told about their shortcomings and weaknesses..

No one ever told them how complete and perfect they were!!
We never felt it as children and so we will never be able to tell it to our children..

The chain needs to break somewhere na?? I have learned about so many personality types that I can appreciate the qualities that each personality type brings with them.

But one can easily mess this up by comparing the personality types!! What vibrance an extrovert brings along , it can never be compared to the stillness and reflecting ability of an introvert!! Then why compare the two??

Each one of is perfect in our own way and we have to kinda keep saying this to ourselves so that we can save the trouble for our future generation..

I remember one f my friends saying the only competition that works is self competition!! Being better than what we were before ūüôā

I guess even if we don’t – the universe is perfect and when the time comes things will change , one person at a time ūüôā

Cheers

Shraddha

PS: This blog-post is my way of confirming/ reinforcing my beliefs !! Judging me / Assessing me based on these posts can be done at one’s own risk :)

Titled as UNTITLED

 

If you can’t name it, Just Let it be: UNTITLED ūüôā

You name this post what ever you wish to! I’ve named it UNTITLED ūüôā

What’s it about? You can see whatever you wish to see in it! It’s all about something UNTITLED ūüôā

It’s about all those little things that sum up to become a part of something UNTITLED ūüôā

A rainy day, colourful umbrellas all over, grabbing  a hot cup of tea at a small roadside tea stall, missing your regular train, hurrying to catch up on time, staining your trousers thanks to the rains & the poor roads, end up bunking work..

Any reaction ? – UNTITLED

A beautiful vacation plan, amazing flight, sunny view outside, perfect landing, report missing luggage, lose a lot of time, end up losing enthusiasm..

Vacation’s over? – Untitled

New Job, first day, looking great, nice boss, good team, perfect food, meet the client, quite alright, welcome to the rut, lost hope..

Given up on this job? – UNTITLED

Love at first sight, asking out, going around, angry parents,¬†rebellious pair, eloping away, parents agreeing, happily lived ever after, few years,¬†arguments, can’t stand each other, parting ways..

Ending up in Divorce? – Untitled

Single mother, useless husband, difficult times, making ends meet, working hard, no time with kid, no vacations, kicking him out, signs of freedom, found new love, family life for kid..

Happy ending? – Untitled

Times change, situations change, people change, emotions change, habits change, attitudes change, behaviours change, lives change,destinies change,

What doesn’t change? – Untitled

I may not respect you, but i definitely respect myself!!

I dont think this statement holds good.. It actually works the other way round..

If I respect myself, I respect everyone around!

So if there are quite a few people whom I dont respect at all, does that mean, my self respect is very low???

The answer to the question above is YES!!¬†It was quite disturbing for me when i came across this concept ¬†and ¬†it was very difficult for me ¬†to digest…

” That does not make any sense!! I respect myself a lot, and just cuz I dont view certain people as deserving respect, does not and i mean it, DOES NOT mean that I have low Self Respect”

I had this thought all of the time, after my class on one of the power tools – Respect Vs. Invalidation. In this class, I had to deal with this complex concept of respecting others and self… I cudnt quite link the two fundas..

Why do they say that if Im not respecting few people around me, Im actually not respecting myself??

And the answer to this was quite simple and it occurred to me few days back.. I had to post this as it means a lot of clarity of thought for me..

Let me try to word it in an example.. If i ask my reader friends to define the word ‘Quality’, what will be your answer??

Quality is fitness for use, having minimum no. of defects or no defects, complying to certain standards,etc

So if we visit Mc Donalds, and the burger served to us is hot, very yum, just as its shown in the ads put up there,  we say it is as per the promised quality!! Can we expect the same quality from a road side stall selling a burger??

If i go there and question the guy at the small road side stall, saying he is not selling quality stuff, you all can guess what i will get to hear from him… He will politely ask me to get lost…He sells his burger at less than half or may be even lesser than the price of what McD sells.. and his tacit quality standards are : the stuff he sells is hot and fills the tummy of any hungry person who has a very light pocket..

So both sell kinda quality stuff.. Just that the quality standards the 2 products adhere to are different!!

So far good??? This is what happens with us too friends!!

If i go around the world judging a road side burger with the quality standards of a Mc Donald burger,or may be the other way round, i go around invalidating myself, not the world!!

In short, I judge people based on my quality standards without even taking a minute off to see, what is the quality they are adhering to!! And what are the quality standards that we all have? They depend on the values we hold close to our heart!!

I am a person who loves freedom!! Freedom is my quality standard!! I may not respect a person who is living a life, someone has asked him to live.. whereas for that person, his quality standard may be, living his life in a manner that pleases the people around him…

He is fit as per his quality standard & im fit as per mine!! The minute i start judging him based on my quality standards, i start invalidating myself!! How do i Invalidate myself here?

I got a better understanding of this concept on reading Dr. Chana’s post on Integrative Communication. Beautiful post which gave me a lot of clarity. The link to this post is:

http://drchana.com/2012/04/04/communication-in-relationships/

On reading the post, it dawned on me that I have been created to see people as they exist. I have that capacity to love them and treat them as respectable individuals, but i sometimes choose to NOT SEE them in the manner they exist.. I choose to see them in a manner I EXIST… i judge them against my quality standards & by doing so i have simply invalidated myself..

U think, people who go around judging people, have a lot of self respect for themselves? No.. Im sure they fail to see themselves also exist in a manner they really do.. they may be seeing themselves as failed individuals, as a failure at all those little things like a job, or a relationship or money matters… come on..

We all do it!! If you think, im writing this post as a preacher.. NO!! I also have my judgements!! We all do!

It may be impossible for us to stop judging people and even more so, to stop judging ourselves… But the max we can do to save our self respect is “RELEASE OUR¬†JUDGMENTS”… Simply being aware of our self, can help us here!! Lets just observe ourselves a little more than we do everyday.. and with regular observation those small little¬†judgments¬†will surface .. & when we get to know of them, we can very well suspend them or release them or let them hang in there for a while..

Leaving my friends with some food for thought here.. Im leaving with the same state of mind too!!

Cheers!!

Lets perceive – How we perceive??

And what does this¬†weird¬†title mean? It just means that not everyone perceives in “one particular manner”. Each person has a different way of perceiving things. Let us just look at¬†our self, as a third person and perceive… What is our preference of perception?

If any of my reader friends find me vague, please excuse me as this is the third post of a 5 post series covering my insights on the MYERS BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR (In short MBTI). This post takes off from where,my last post –¬†Meet the Extraverts & the¬†Introverts!!¬†stopped…

I like to mention to my readers, as Ive used this tool – MBTI many a times, i was very keen to write a few posts about this amazing tool .My request to you all, please treat this as an interesting read rather than an info sharing site. There are many sites sharing technical info about this tool. The only reason im attempting this is to explore my creativity to explain in detail about this tool.

My last post Meet the Extraverts & the Introverts!! was dealing with the first dichotomy or pair of preference in MBTI- Extraversion (E Type) Vs. Intraversion (I Type) which dealt with the flow of energy in people.

This post deals with the second dichotomy or pair of preference- Sensing (S Type) Vs. iNtuition (N Type).

The word Intuition here, has a different context, and is very much different from the word which means sixth sense or a gut feeling. So, a person coming under a N Type, will not necessarily have a good sixth sense or an intuitive feeling. The word Intuition describes the manner in which people perceive, and we are just coming to it in a while.

One may ask, why is Intuition = N type. Simply to avoid confusion of being referred to the I in introversion, this type is named after the second letter and is spelled as iNtuition and is referred to as the N type.

How are the Sensing and iNtuition types really different? Let me explain with a short exercise. I’m sure all my reader¬†friends¬†have been to a beach or seen one in movies. If i ask you to imagine a beach view, what will come to your mind?

What do you see?

The picture above, is a google searched image of a beach!! And when you look at it, what exactly comes to your mind? Can you pen down and describe in a few words, the beach view?

If the picture is not visible, no worries!! Just imagine any beach side view and think.. which words come to your mind?

There will be some of you, who will say, blue water, the brown sands, sunny weather, and stuff that you can actually see in this picture!!

There will be some others who will say, a perfect get away, a beautiful holiday, may be an awesome honeymoon place,or something like that which is not really seen in the picture, but the person perceives the picture to be it..

So the S type people, prefer to perceive in the first manner, looking for details using their five senses. They will use words like blue water, cuz they can see the blueness or the sunny weather cuz they can see the sun shining.. They like to gather information in the form of concrete data which can be sensed by their senses.

The N type, on the other hand, perceive in the second manner! They like to see the world in a more abstract manner. They tend to extract some abstract meaning out of the things they see. They like to gather information in the form of abstract ideas rather than concrete data.

Let me give another example. A simple activity say cooking ¬†may be perceived by a “S type” as a series of steps done in a typical fashion so as to get the desired result of “A yummy dish”.. or¬†Cooking may be perceived by a ‘N type’ as an activity by which one can feed the poor….

Are you able to see how differently the 2 types perceive?

Your opinion about the beach view may not be the same. Just try to observe the manner in which you perceive.. Is it more fact based, got to do with the 5 senses, more logical and can be sensed? or is it more abstract, far away from facts, more tilting towards ideas and concepts rather than facts?

Lets see how, knowing about these 2 types can help us!!

As S type persons, prefer more facts, more of sensing, they have an eye for detail. They are more realistic and practical as they view the external world just as it appears to the 5 senses. They prefer to live in the present and are close to reality as against imaginary ideas about the future.

They prefer working around a set of instructions and like to take one step at a time, starting from the very beginning. So if you give a book to a S type person, he will not feel satisfied, unless he reads each word & each page, in the book.

With N type persons being more interested in the big ideas surrounding the facts, they dislike details. They get excited with an idea and knowing the minute details does not interest them. They prefer to live in the imaginary possibilities that the future holds for them.

As they like abstract ideas, they often miss the details. ¬†and the instructions can actually get them off track. They like to start from any point, not necessarily the beginning and they may not even follow the steps. ¬†Creating and inventing new stuff excites them rather than following the regular steps. If you give them a book, they may read few pages of each chapter and may hand you the book in a day or two. They can easily connect the dots between the few pages from each chapter that they’ve read and they will be able to know the gist of the book from all that they’ve read ..

To a S type- a N type, may appear as lacking an eye for detail, disobeying or not following instructions, always away from reality and living in dreams..

To a N type- a S type may appear as lacking the ‘macro view’, not thinking different, change resistant…

I know, now as i guessed, you all will be thinking which is the better type!! I wanna be the better type!! But hey guys, there’s no such ideal measurement .. we just need to figure out our ideal fit..

If a ‘I type’ person is given a sales profile, where he needs to have many interactions with people, meet new people and sell his business, he may do it very well, but he may feel very uncomfortable doing so much of talking…

Similarly, if a ‘E type’ person is given a research & development profile, where he has to sit in isolation and conduct research, statistical analysis and so on, he may do a good job, but he will need regular breaks where he can chat with people, interact with them so as to energize himself..

Now imagine, if a ‘N type’ person is given a detail oriented profile like contracts management, or claims management or accounts, he may do his work well, at the same time ,feeling suffocated with so many details around.. Similarly, if a ‘S type’ is given the profile of an ad maker,though he will do a gr8 job, ¬†he will feel uneasy dealing with abstract ideas…

So finally, it’s all about knowing our measurements & finding the ideal fit..Hope the last 2 posts have been helpful for you in identifying your type..

More about the other 2 dichotomies, in the coming posts..